I knew I had to Leave Tis Town, but I'd never knew when and I never knew how....

Bersyukur ke hadrat ilahi, am finally free now, kekuatan yang ada ini... suatu permulaan baru membawa diri jauh dari liars dan aniaya... After all these time, setelah penat mencoba dengan hormatnya to let the truth be heard, tis' soul of mine is now tired of trying and will just pray to dear God for the actual truth to finally prevail in the hearts and eyes of those who started and believe them lies.... Biar pergi dengan kekalahan hari ini, pedih seribu rasa meninggalkan ruang kerja yang ku hormati, sayangi dan ku usahakan bersungguhnya selama ini, tapi yakin diri ini, InsyaAllah, ada hikmah disebalik setiap yang terjadi...Moga pemergian diri kecil ini, menutup ruang kata-kata dan mainan hasat dengki beberapa kumpulan insan... Moga mereka akhirnya dapat keseronokan yang mereka hajati, dan mula mengisi ruang waktu hidup mereka dengan  perkara yang lebih baik dan sempurna kini, dan moga aku juga menjumpai nafas baru dan keinsafan dari segalanya... InsyaAllah. 

 

I am always a true friend, a lover and most definitely not a hater! I'd forgive but I know deep down, the cut inside, I shall never forget, but as hard I will try and I'll pray for all being most definitely. May these makes me a better person and keeping me stronger thn ever before. Sadly all these while, I didn't know my own strength..., I should have just smiled at them and have long gone, or maybe I should fight and punc*** them  right in the face... cos at least it would feels so good for a mo'... but phew, thanked god, that is not me! Instead, I will just let them win, hopefully they'll come to their senses, continue manipulating others with each words at every second, and spit their satanic versus elsewhere, where it won't hurt me much, or better yet.... STOP the whole damn talking bad things lah!!! but after is all said and done, nhk, ral, mma, hh... may god have mercy and bless us all. I wish for a single chance, for us to have say the truth, for once at least, but I guess, each gotta do what each gotta do right? few things was left unheard.., mma I finally given up on you since that very day, I first seek truth from you, but we both know what you've decided on, therefore I'll pray for you the most, hopefully you shall no more professionally continue running and hiding from mistakes that you've created intentionally or unintentionally. nhk do asked ral again, how many times she mentioned you asking and talking bad about my being, before and after umrah? that was the whole point of me asking you? why is that so, why won't you ever stop? but hey, I respected each of ur harshwords and final answer, and so I have decided mine as well at that very morning, and so i'll leave it exactly just there then! but, nhk and mma do asked ral again, why I'd rather mentioned mma spent the night in ipoh safe n sound... whereabout nhk, sincerely I have none intention whatsoever and not knowing of how others family/couples being or at everysingleday, but do asked her what she had thoughts in tht very mind earlier which was said out loud to me, and how therefore I beg her to differ? Ring a bell these next few words, before backfiring at others and making things looking worst than ever? 'kantoikan + mma + athotelroompenang + withnewgirl + boleh + convey to hh?' Would any of tis finally trigger the truth from you ral? please, reached down deep in your heart! Anyhow, this goes to all, if everyone shall only loses when with you, and how you would always win, do bear in mind that, the table might turn someday, and you shall fall and never get back up again...! Dont go that far brother and sista.... Enuff buruksangka sesama manusia. tak kisahlah 26 years of age, or mid 30's or 40's... we are all human, young might not be naive, elder might not be smart! Kiter semua nak mencari rezeki yang halal dengan tenang.

 

Looking backwards, putting down all these final words leading to deep sadness and hatred... Lega now,  am ending it, in hope that I won't be anyone's locked target anymore! I am here on earth, a chance given by the almighty, to share my love to all living being, to fulfil my destiny, to make the crowd happy when I'm in the room with them,  and most importantly to be the very best that I can be, making good use of my energy and brain... Now all these drastic changes of mine, and my eyes wide open is destined from God as well, this is not the end of me, InsyaAllah a new good beginning definitely!

 

This quest of mine meets its ending, after almost 7 years of growing, dedicated  completely working hard together, learning new things, embracing the arts... finally now another journey shall begins for me. Never would I forget this beautiful journey, and I would definitely missed most out of it... sedih letting go actually... shall missed the creativeness of the arts, the beutiful people (some), the loving senior artists; DSAJ, L.Thien,Shih, Mustapa.H.Ibrahim, Maryam.A, Siti,Z.Ismail, the late Piya, Khalil.Ib, and the list goes on and on... to the younger gen: Amir Z, Meme, Haslin, Azam, Akie, Buden, Wak, Meor, Lee, Sapik, Zul, Jibeng and so on.. Thank you Miemiechan, Bayu, NR, Mya, Lisa for the silent support and trust in me, I shed into tears knowing this actually.. Bro NR, I told you I might be going, u said buang tebiat apa nih? 'but hey thanked you for wishing gud for me, and as you said, do what I feel is best for me! Eventho' u guys have no clue of the reason why pun? hehe...tq, so pure, indeed so great people-friend... Arin, sorry didnt warned you earlier, if you check this blog of mine again, then maybe you might understand. Dearest bro Mir, first and foremost, congrats on Singapore! Saw them pics, j to the ealous of me!! hehehe... Deeply sorry didnt warned or share any of this with you... you're oh so busy man, and so do I maa! but hey, u knew right along this whole scene of mine before? this was just waiting to happened... In a good way, I hope... and so it has as am not strong enough to just keep shutting myself out and hold them sadness day in and day out. So good to be free and far away now ... Anyhow... take care all... will call soon, coffee sumtime guys? :)

 

Lastly, to my dearest friend Noorwina Khalil, apology for leaving unexpectedly... Take care and God Bless! Salam to the rest...

 

Reminiscing the last moments and smiles of friends, at my final art event! AEM 09'... 

 

keluar university * alhamdulillah.. 18.11.09

Shouting out my sincere, greatest and humble gratitude to dear God the maker of all beautiful living kind, dearest family for their undying and endless love, friends that is truly to my heart, for your neverending support and love. Thank you dearly, i've made it. 4 years struggling working full-time, my undying efforts at work and studying late nights just to make it all worth while to this date. Better late than never, Berkat doa kalian saya berjaya. Kadangkala terasa sukarnya, tapi Syukur alhamdulillah dengan hasilnya - Wednesday, 18 November 2009 will stay forever true in my heart. Furtherin higher study? sudah difikirkan pun dan dibincangkan dengan family, tp give me a few months berehat dan mencari aura baru sekejap. Australia, Korea, China and Bandung sounds good, my options for a great level of master education in Animation. Moga Allah tunjukkan langkahku yang seterusnya... amin yarabiala'lamin.

Dianugerahkan oleh Pro-Cancelor Tan Sri Azman Hashim, smilin me... cos we've been introduced before... Tan Sri's having office yang sungguh besar, humongous man! come to think of it is that an office or a work haven? ehehehe... Another thing i cud never forget, Thank you for the inspirational speeches and yet oh so funny.. esp on the note where he mentioned, 'if your are not successful at any of your task as a manager, and having no ethics and integrity, then you are not a manager at all'... 'if everyone loses while working with you and how you always win, you might win today, but sooner or later, you' definitely have your downfall, and surely you'll never get back on....' hurm so true kan? ring a bell anyone? this works for everyone. actually.. kena sentiasa beringat, ape2pun dalam hidup ini, humanity, kejujuran paling penting.... bukan tipudaya, umpat mengumpat, caci maki, dan kemudian menidakkan segalanya dan menjatuhkan lagi insan yang dikira malang itu... u might live today for winning a battle that you played so badly, but the table might turn on you tomorrow... always remember, we are all human, and we must work our way to succesful AS A GOOD HUMAN BEING AND HAVING ETHICS! insyaAllah after usaha u sendiri, selebihnya terserah pada Allah swt. Dan sesungguhnya insan-insan yang mengenakan you, pasti dapat hukuman mereka suatu hari nanti. Allah itu adil dan saksama. Tan Sri,  me also do hope that the culprit from Harvard Univesity will pay the price they played as well soon.

tell ya fwens, tis is it....

Hearie, hearie all Art Lovers, Art Frenzies & Art Maniacs.... Hope to c

ya'll cute and sweet faces at R A Fine Arts -The Gallery next Tuesday, Nov 17

at 5.30pm, for our Opening Reception of the exhibition

"Just What Is It That Makes Today's Art So Different, So Interesting"

Hope to b seeing ya'll there, enjoying the art pieces, trust me, not worth missing this one!!! lgpun rugi weiss, d main man of greatness saudara U-Wei shall open d show! thx U-Wei for dropping by yesterday showing ur support..

alesmaks tergempar, gabungan video work + performance artis malam itu... Drum Roll Please... Persembahkan Gabungan hebat Dr. Zulkifly Mohamad (my ZulCool), Meme and Hui Koon. tp, wut? semuanya bergantung kpd Projector? alamak... artis perlu projector.. hmm... erwina cam ne nak ikhtiar ni..? *6.11pm - ok erwina dh settled, so it's on*

Anyhow, let's sneek peak, i'll share ya'll with my dirty little secret... to my utmost fav ones (psssst, tell no one pls, or i'll be dead) Jeng, jeng, jeng... top of my chart, Meme's sensational pieces, and young Haslin's kegilaan (salute lah, u both never failed to impress me ur #1 fan)!!! love ya art sense towwwww much!... other than tht, definitely worth to be eying on is Lee's Sabran works.. pergh! massive, me likey Lee! as well as Rini's video work (tp Ojan, awat x de sound, masih ku musykil? but i know, hentaman dalam diam ek? P/S: satu lg, nape x beli tv jenama Wina tu..., and Ujang u're so hampeh! ahahaha!), and oh ya, last but not least loving the works by Fawwaz esp the cover that I've edited on...entitled 'The Gathering' and Hui Koon's pieces. love ya art girl.. and and and credits to all other collective collage artists for their creativeness! Hushinaidi Abdul Hamid, Elias Yamani Ismail, Peejoy, Izmir Omar and Wening... Me wishin all the best for this first ever collective collage show! and thank you for each and everyone's dedication and hard work for making this exhibition as beautiful as it is. hee.

Tell ya fwens and peeps people... hope to see everyone then n there... hope it is not the last tht we meet! but if it is, surely gonna miss ya. gonna miss each n everyone! thank you for all the support... esp. me gonna  miss my major baby project with pak LTS, man, how i wish we cud work til its peaks and see u smile then, altho' t care of ur health k, u r like a cool artist dad to me... jgn berkarya kuat sgt Mr. Ehehehe, can't wait for ur show... d one n only idolaku yg sgt mementingkan HUMANITY, n looks like italian Mafia.. bolehla, or chinesemixitaly.. I salute you and wish u well... and to others, c ya tis tuesday, kita meraikan pameran sampai saat akhir ya, memuaxxx .... ciao!

P/s: see ya'll at AEM 2009, Matrade too ye... from 19 - 23 ehehehe, my pet project gk ni,

tp 18th, me xde... 'Keluar University', :)

7 - 8 Nov 2009 , KL - Ipoh - KL - LCCT

 

when ur body temp is rising... tis is wut happen!

3 days ago..., well i just heard

dugaan ilahi ternyata hebat kan? tetapi,

membuktikan Allah masih menyayangi..

Qada'&Qadar dh tertulis, jalan yg dipilih

telahpun dilalui. matahati jg dibuka kini

walaupun tenggelam akhirnya tiga hari..

c'mon babygirl, mula perlahan skali lagi

~ THE END ~

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go