Hey, what do ya want from me?

hey guys.. u know I jarang bashed people here in my blog rite? maybe ada satu dua tu cos.. wallahualam, i pun tak tau kenapa...? but, wut triggered tis posting is caused of one annoying so called friend that i have, tht seems to me, hs never changed a single bit of his attitude and personality. am not writing his name down, respecting to his entertainment music world, that he is slowly breaking into... ey bukan ke dah lama u try? y tak famous ek? ha, see my banter now...? ini tandanya erwina dh marah... u dont like bila i marah!! even i dont like bila i marah...so jgn la go over-board?

Receiving ur unexpected call today ws a delightful to me, so i thought, our lawak bodoh the very first few seconds, n 'how u miss my sound of laughter so much'...itu semua i boleh terima... tht was sweet babe. It has been many years since we've talked, tho' we're not tht close as in selalu jumpa, but u r always a fren to me... and when u told me that ur mom is unwell lately, and so u've been taking care of her n how u r a little bored and down today, I was really sorry to hear that, and so I said 'yes' to ur invitation for a drink @ starbucks.. walaupun u choose to have it at Mid Valley, which is not my fav, as i prefer OneU, Curve and Ikano better, but still wut the heck, since u call me fren, am A-OK... lagipun lg dekat dgn I.. but however, minutes after...we're still on the phone rather than bersiap to keluar, eventho' i mentioned to u clearly, that i dun wanna miss maghrib, so better kuar now (which is way petang td when tis happen), since i pun tgh rehat today from working the designs tht i brought home! berenti sekejap.... in respect to my mum, she called earlier this afternoon... cik ruby dh marah! ehehe..., anyways, so I mmg feel like ordering my fav Caramel Coffee, but then...there we are still, on the phone talking.., where u insist us jugak to watch movie afterwards... Cara baik ok at first, i clarify tht sorry am not in the mood for movies today, but I could do starbucks! :) But no way hose, u being u... which is exactly sama perangai dgn i, we want what we want... u nak jugak paksa i tgk movie... y lah, u still nak go off limit...? makes me remember who u r actually, tak ubah langsung...

naper ek? keep on paksa i, please, please, please, please... berulang kali... i've already said sorry n NO, takde mood for any movie. lagpun bukan ke it is good catching up in a much relaxed way...dah tu pulak, when i boldly said, babe am yes for drinks but no movie, u nk ke tak? then he said, u ni tak happening lah! damn...agak sakit hati aku... lantak arr! tapi, u ajak pulak instead of that, lepak ur house? cos u wanted to show me ur amazing music studio! I was saying to him... i thought u said ur mom's unwell, not good lah, kacau her rest... lain kali lah maybe...and guess wut his response is? 'owh my mom is out...' HUH? r u for real babe? bukanke she sakit? (oklah whatever, to auntie, i still wish u're feeling better wherever u are, walaupun i tak kenal auntie...)

and so, since u tetap takleh terima and nk jugak kata i balik... saying 'u ni dari dulu i ajak asyik jual mahal? now u single kan?'... in my reply... 'ahhh, so u know? u've been reading my blog? and yes am no longer with him, rocking my own boat now, xde masalah'... but then i already know wuts coming later from u, knowing u being u... i dh tahu u akan kata i byk lagi? guess what tis is wuts next? 'wina, i told u dari dulu, it'll never last, u tak nk dgr... i suh u jadi my gf u tak nak... u said u love him so much lah, bla bla bla, sibuk kerja lah...ada aje alasan u x nk keluar dgn i...'

truthfully kan, i kenal dia ni dh lama, dari dulu i rasa nk cekik je dia, sekarang pun i rasa yg sama... (People, jgn ambik tis seriously, or using this sentence against me in court!) ni ayat geram ajer... n clearlykan thats the reason y, i malas dgn him.. all these while i have never lied? pernah ke tgk erwina relax goyang kaki?? i tak pernah tipu... i mmg kuat kerja... i think liza tahu, kalau liza ingatlah... n i think liza pn tak suka dia? even as a fren, cos he always annoyed me... i put up with him dulu kdg2, cos he said he's sincere n cuma sometimes acts foolish when he's jealous!! tapi kan babe, kalau u betol sincere n u tgh baca ni... u blew it again sebenarnye, i was so ok to go out with u today!.. NOT ME, do remember this!!... n yes U R RITE, he left... katalah apa u nk kata... but apa u nak lagi? what do ya want from me babe? u want us together? change ur attitude TO THE MAX!!!! n thanked god, ur credit habis td, n i dont feel like replying... I GUESS HERE IS MY REPLY NOW!!!!!!!!!

by the way, from ur last message... 'Credit i habis. Cik Erwina, u ni mmg jual mahal dgn i... u jgn nyesal girl!!!'  

'Ahh, Fish off lah you...' i dah pun received, read, n delete ur message...tahlah babe, u ni mcm budak2 sgt! i penat lah dgn kerja i, today just tak larat for movie... wrong timing agaknya...n byk keputusan sebelum ni yg i buat... mmg i menyesal sgt2, but if u want to be salah satu dlm kekesalan hidup i... silakan... be my guess!! i wish u all the best in ur future undertakings n please do wish for mine... adios amigos babe! take care!!!

kiss & greet my newly born god nephew

Alhamdulillah ke hadrat ilahi, presenting...,  

Putera Muhammad Rayyan Daniel

Rayyan the lion!!!!

baby boy of my beloved godsista Raja Mardiah Idris and bro Khairol Yahaya!!

Congratulations mommy and daddy...  May happiness is forever yours to keep...

Born @ 11.30am, Thurs, 22nd April 2010, Sunway Medical Centre.

 

So cute, so mohawk... love love ya lil angel... now hanya menadah tangan kepada yg Maha Esa, mendoakan yg terbaik juga for my dearest beloved sista Azleen Safrina & bil Norman Firdaus. Amin.

prevailing winds

Prevailing Winds... 

seems to me, another day of life depending on prevailing winds... tho receiving the news that very saturday morn, does brings a little sense of relieved... but sadly also knowing of the unfortunate catastrophic that is happening. i guess, all is in god's will... the good and the bad... could only pray for the best, nothing more nothing less...

But yet soon after, sunday gives a little sorrow... And again, am praying so hard to dear Almighty, please hear my prayer, for am wishing nothing else in tis world than for my loved ones good health and happiness.. I pray hard for my BIL to get well and safely undergo his surgery tis coming 22nd. Amin.. 

I knew frm tht very moment, I have to be around, I can't leave tis town just yet, I can't be selfish! But am sorry, it jst gets a little harder taking charge of the new things in life these days... Am working so hard day n nite trying to be the very best, til I've forgotten the simple rules of life, 'Take what u get, Give what u can offer...,' 'U're No Superwoman!'... I realized that is never gonna be easy, but I gotta be more bold rather thn being indecisive at times. not good, to just go with the flow rite?... at tis point, i might not carry the weight of the heavy world... Altho' am blessed n thankful for all of the the high hopes n expectations given, but am taking things wisely, a step at a time.... progressive slowly... and remarkably... Anyhow, the clock keeps ticking, and the wheel keeps on turning... surely yes, don't wanna be left behind esp in the corporate world, but eager moves could only leads to CHECK MATE! Gotta be smarter than that... And eventho' I still hold to my believe, no pain no gain... but at the end of the day, is not all about getting to the top fast and having those recognition in my account, is when u enjoys most working at wut u good at and being appreciated for deserving to the best of what u have done,...n what matter most in life will always comes down to what u actually gives back to all as a human being... esp to those u cares the most n dearly to death!

And so... my family is my life... they have my back all the time... so do i... therefore BIL, promise me U gotta be strong for that surgery.., u loved us dearly, and so u know, u are the world to us too... the joy and life of my beloved sista, mama and me, hey... cepat sembuh, me balik nanti to help babysit kejap aje tau, while u guys rehat melayan penat n layan romansa... :) but jgn lupa akan ada ongkosnya tau...? Lesson for electric guitar tu x habis lagi??? so promise? i wanna see u kembali sihat n smile...

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

11.05 pm

defying gravity...

tarik nafas panjang, breathe in breathe out... still a sigh*hurm ~ talks about me defying gravity... not that i don't believe in it, am absolutely am, just that am not quite there yet! ohh damn why o why is it so hard? feels really hard sumtimes... last week was hell of a work, well wait..., wasn't my every otha week hs been like that as well? come to think of it, indeed that is so very true! but at this juncture, I should be proud of myself for wut i couldn't imagine i had it in me, the will to work work work n no play, to visualize, to draw, the ability to create sumwhat called digital creative maybe? not the finest you'll see of course, definitely lah.. still raw, beginners stage... masih harap ada peluang belajar from greater power!!! master yoda of 3d out there yang free mungkin?? ehehehe!! hurm...finally kan? all these while dreaming of becoming a digital designer, now ada juga rezeki to at least cuba, syukur alhamdulillah... altho' day in day out... tersgtlah penat, as if there's no break at all! at tis point, have to do it, cos kena work both hands on website and presentation. 

Last monday, that very morning... jantung berdebar kuat. doa to god, may today's presentation be a good one. ada gk doa, hoping may the meeting be canceled! teruk kan? but soon the call came in, ma phone ring... it's showtime... terkumat kamit myself berdoa, getting out of my room carrying my cpu, heading straight to the conference room.. man, gila, the MD, called up all d head department to join that meeting. 10 ppl was in tht room if i'm not mistaken... Gelabah sungguh... connection to the projection screen plak lembap, even to start my pc was taking twice the time longer than usual... hurm, baru depa tau, animation, website, video shoot, photoshoot, and corporate design semua ada dalam cpu ni. tp rasanye big boss tetap tak heran! pundeks!!! ahahaha... sorry!!! sarcastically my german boss repeating, 'What is this taking so long? We don't have much time!'  again and again... ...dalam hati, bai sabar lah 'there's nothing i cud do about that, seriously, what u see is what u get'...  and so after it finally starts, phew... rasa nk pitam...but.. they love it! i think? yes, they love it... thank god, the words from the Darth Vader himself.... 'this is GOOD, but not VERY GOOD, but this is really GOOD! ... chop! bezanya? ape-apejelah, all i know, need to work on a litlle more until me get that VERY GOOD feedback! still syukur when he said... This is not rubbish!'... i still have it lingers in my head... syukur tak kena hamput Rubbish... dah pernah kena actually, first time propose dulu. Masalahnye, bawaklah saya naik helly and have my own view from the top maybe?... since the pictures were not even in the database... how am i suppose to visualize and draw it all back?? but, never should there be any excuses kan?  dia boss kita kuli... ahahaha! so now, feels sikit lega... slowly bersyukur dgn feedback yg overwhelming... alho' hampeh when the Prod Manager, Sacha W, that another very loud German dude, said that when watching my montage, it does seems to him like a drunken person watching it... siut! pastu ngata apa tah aku dlm German... nk je aku ckp perak! hangin je aku... ok fine, i admit it, it's a little laju, but hey that's what a montage usually is... if a montage is  rather too slow, then do not call it a montage please!!!!!!!! huh!!!... but anyhow, i've changed it dah, siap rabu i think?... n they love it very much now they said, hopefully the MD willlove it too tis time... he's coming back esok... mati anak beruang... another scary Monday!! ahaha... but us here, kerja is very professional, later after that... we will have a big laugh all together!! kalau aku malas layan, me tutup je my pintu... bukan x leh nampak... windows besar blakang gue.. 

My only concern now is that since after that presentation preview. MD tambah pulak... new idea, new chapter, he said i could definitely do it! he wanted me to animate the internal part.. now kecut perut balik, damn last nite I dah habis drawing dah... tapi me tertidur around 2am... ngantuk sgt bai! jaga waktu subuh today, itupun lewat, almost syuruk... aduh, still have to habiskan today... sempat ke ni? rasa mcm nk rehat layan melodi aje now... no F1 today kan? hehhee!! aduh... sigh sigh sigh! elok plak layan blogging tiba2... hampeh, lagi bazir masa... but tis always release me pain or stress, at least a bit... ohya, that meeting was ended with another great news for me lah hari tu... u know the website am working on as well.. them LOVE it... scripting cantek, navigation looks interesting, layout looks good, gambar edited n re-touched was beautifully done... this was the comments given lah, betul... syukur kan? bila mendengar feedback yang menaikkan semangat mcm ini... yelah maybe diorg pun risau, tgk aku ajer dh mcm zombie agaknya... gila, almost 500 pictures me cropped and edited tuh... all together at the same time, kejap-kejap cropped n retouched gambar, kejap2 export movie, export flash, and kejap-kejap masukkan information for web, kejap2 kena panggil video shoot/photoshoot.... Wina the robotic gal maybe!! dats why, when u see me out of the office laa ni, am all drained out... lagipun, me nk siapkan semua cepat lah... web i think sikit lagi habis lah.. just worried on animation.. asyik new inputs, new ideas... but always nk cepat later... Please ya'll, if u read this, pray that i dpt siapkan perfectly by this week. cos next week, u know i byk keje kan? kena postponed trip overseas... tapi, depa plak hantar Vicky from China to have training with me... tis coming 19th, i'll be training her on the website, mostly on scripting, development and layout setting... so now my senior colleague, barulah ada sedikit perasaan simpati, dia risau sikit, cos me banyak sgt keje, nk kena train a colleague from china lg lak tu.. or maybe sebenarnye dia risau cos dia nk cuti seminggu next week? hurm... ape2jela labu, pikir baik manusia kan? Anyhow..., bukan ke sepatutnya saya yg kena pi training,... now sudah tukar ka??? tapi takpe, as long as i cud do it.. am doing it, just doa sgt dpt selesai semua by the 25th of the month... cos later me wanna have a break, nk cuti... esp cos my sista's due date is round the corner, EDD sebenarnya 11 May 2010, same bday ngan maira... but usually kan baby either keluar awal 2 weeks or lewat kan? anyhow, hanya doakan both ibu and baby selamat.. by the way... baby now berat dah 2.9kg.. ehehehe! sweet... notty sgt dlm peyot says kakak! anyhow, wait for me kay guys... i'll try to cuti...

Ok adios lah, wanna kuar buy a ciggy n a coke, rehatkan my pc say about 20mins, later sambung keje balik.  dun worry lah.. gua bukan nk tgk melodi lah... ahahaha... signing off here for now k?... oh ya, lupa... I berkesempatan singgah ke pameran kedua Datuk A.Samad Said last friday, tak jadi main badminton ptg tu, merajuk diaorg yg lain... serious, boleh tak..? tak bercakap ngn i langsung masa diorg gerak balik!! hurm, next week sy join blk k? tak sempat pun nk upload a better picture of our previous games... kat pc office lg, later lah! So anyhow, i went straight to balai that evening, traffic jem, lama dh tak masuk KL... waited for mimie a while, thanks laling for the company... u're beautiful as always! altho' a little awkward  i felt tht nite.. oh maybe it is just me, but is all good! U KNOW SERIOUSLY, when i saw them artworks, it just melts me heart... how i just love a magnificent art pieces huh? soothing, therapeutic for me, cos mata yg terlalu penat ni, terasa segar sikit... and dgn bahasa Pak Samad yg tinggi tahap dewa tu, tetap juga aku curik2 cuba memahami line by line...mcm paham sgt, tapi still mencuba juga nih... and you know dahlah ramai audience attend that nite kan? lagilah!... but saya suka tulisan Hasnul.J...simple, relevant. Cuba memahami penulisan Rahmat.H, but humangai... tak bisa! still at the end of the nite, glad i came... I didn't actually catch any extended dessert of that evening, the poetry recital, performances... i was too tired, went off early, and fyi, tak beli lagi driving glass, now a little bad at driving waktu malam kn...serious, cos i could mengantuk easily dlm kete... a little bahaya, so jgn menyusahkan pengguna jalanraya yg lain, and jgn risaukan family lagi... so i balik awal... but still, tahniah DASS. Moga panjang umur, terima kasih atas contributions selama ini... Insan seni unggul!

sun, 11:54am 

song choice of the week... by the Rolling Stones

Wild Horses
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

Childhood living is easy to do 

The things you wanted I bought them for you 

Graceless lady you know who I am 

You know I can't let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldn't drag me away 

Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

 

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain 

Now you decided to show me the same 

No sweeping exits or offstage lines 

Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

 

Wild horses couldn't drag me away 

Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie 

I have my freedom but I don't have much time 

Faith has been broken, tears must be cried 

Let's do some living after we die

Wild horses couldn't drag me away 

Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

Wild horses couldn't drag me away 

Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

TRIVIA - Wild Horses was Recorded December, 1969 and February, 1970. 

Released in the US & UK on the album  Sticky Fingers in April, 1971. 

Released as a US single on June 12, 1971.
Lead Vocals: Mick Jagger  

Vocal Harmony: Keith Richards  

Electric & Acoustic Guitars:Keith Richards & Mick Taylor  

Bass: Bill Wyman  

Drums: Charlie Watts 

Piano: Jim Dickinson